coffeedubs

judgemental much

In Uncategorized on December 26, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Stereotyping people by their favourite author (according to Lauren Leto):

J.D. Salinger – Kids who don’t fit in.

Jack Kerouac – Umphrey’s McGee fans.

Chuck Palahniuk – Boys who can’t read.

Lev Tolstoy – Guys I want to date.

Fyodor Dostoevsky – Guys I want to sleep with. (The difference between the two Russian authors lies in the fact that I think the Underground Man is sexier than Pierre Buzukhov).

Jane Austen (or Bronte Sisters) – Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.

Haruki Murakami – People who like good music.

Charles Dickens – Ninth graders who think they’re going to be authors someday but end up in marketing.

William Shakespeare – People who like bondage.

Mark Twain – Liars.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – People who drink scotch.

Edgar Allan Poe – Men who live in their mother’s basements. Or goth seventh graders.

Dan Brown – People who used to get lost in supermarkets when they were kids.

Anais Nin – Librarians.

Sylvia Plath – Girls who keep journals (too easy).

George Orwell – Conspiracy theorists (too easy).

Aldous Huxley – People who are bigger conspiracy theorists than Orwell fans.

Harper Lee – People who have read only one book in their life and it was To Kill A Mockingbird (and it was their assigned reading in the ninth grade).

Nick Hornby – Guys who wear skinny jeans and the girls that love them.

Ernest Hemingway – Men who own cottages.

F. Scott Fitzgerald – People who get adjustable-rate mortgages.

Vladimir Nabokov – Men who use words like ‘dubious’ and ‘tenacity’.

Brothers Grimm – Only children with Oedipal complexes.

Lewis Carroll – People who move to Thailand after high school for the drug scene.

C.S. Lewis – Youth group leaders who picked their nose in the 4th grade.

Herman Hesse – People who own one straw chair in their house.

Salaman Rushdie – People who google image search Padma Lakshmi late at night.

Albert Camus – People who went to art school after “trying it out” at a public university.

Kurt Vonnegut – People who played Creep by Radiohead while having sex or smoking pot.

and inspired by the first list, there goes another one:

Sterotyping people by their favourite indie bands

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Girls who bought checkered sneakers in the 8th grade.

Fleet Foxes – Hopelessly patchy beard growers.

TV On The Radio – Politically-correct hipsters.

Joanna Newsom – People who have considered befriending a squirrel.

Devendra Banhart – People who have considered becoming a squirrel.

Animal Collective – Guys who make “Best of the Year” lists in January based predominantly on “feeling.”

Death Cab for Cutie – Girls who quote lyrics as their Facebook status.

Bon Iver – People with self-esteem issues and probably hate Ben Gibbard.

Radiohead – Everyone.

Tegan & Sara – Lesbians and guys who firmly believe that when there are two girls on stage together, there is a 63% chance of them making out.

Phoenix – People who don’t listen to enough music.

Sufjan Stevens – People who believe in two things: Jesus and Juno.

M.I.A. – Girls who don’t understand politics.

Arcade Fire – Frequent transcendental experience havers.

Deerhunter – Avid doodlers.

Ratatat – Boys who think Ocarina of Time is the greatest game ever made.

Bright Eyes – Despite threatening to kill yourself, you’re not going to, and you probably can’t drink nearly as much as you say you can.

The Decemberists – You have no friends, so you turn to classic fiction and indie lit. for company.

Pavement – You are constantly trying to relive the 90’s

If you’re bored enough to read the comments it’s funny to realise how much more protective people are of their musical tastes than their literary ones– or possibly people who read actually know how to take a joke?

That might be it.

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  1. Ooh, thanks for including the Bright Eyes and Decemberists ones, they’re some of my favorites! I also wanted to say how funny it is that your comment about the comments is in the comments too, haha.

  2. Someone had to say it haha. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. “The difference between the two Russian authors lies in the fact that I think the Underground Man is sexier than Pierre Buzukhov” ahahahah, totally true! 😀
    I`m loving this. Cheers!

  4. Haha, glad you liked it!

  5. thanks for stealing my suggestions guys. :/

  6. huh?

    • Oh shit, the “If you’re bored enough…” comment wasn’t cited to the author. Neither were the definitions for the bands that came from the comments and not the original post.

      Be careful, kids.

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